then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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