i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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