The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
