i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
