I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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