when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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