careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize