you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
