im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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