i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She bit a glass in half.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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