did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize