Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pants are for mortals
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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