Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
