Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
