I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
