Umm I'm too high to move.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
