FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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