Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
