He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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