My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
