Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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