420 ftw
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
His hands were made for my vagina.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
