my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
