So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
