We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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