Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
