I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
