I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
