Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
