Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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