Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
