I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sarcasm needs its own font
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
