Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
