If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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