I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
