Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
