just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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