someone owes me an orgasm
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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