I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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