Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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