I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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