My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
