my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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