I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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