I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
