just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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