It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
