Don't you send me to vm
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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