Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Drake has all the answers
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
