Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
