I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
