My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i dont even know how to be here
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize