and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
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