I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
