Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
