I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
