hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
