Porn is love you can see.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize