she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
