Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
